Today we are going to talk about blog envy, a sentiment I have of course never experienced.
The problem is this.
99 per cent of the people who read my blog unfortunately suffer from a rare condition known as advanced typephobia.
I mean, even though some days I get as many as five views a day, no exaggeration, and have 2 followers now, nobody says nothing to nobody in this drafty place.
It’s like dead, dead, dead.
Maybe they have it confused with an ashram.
No, this can’t be.
It clearly says Needlepoint Land not Needlepoint Library right up top. In big bold lettering. I just checked.
This can only be typephobia.
So I went around to other blogs on WordPress to see if their readers also suffer from this blog kill condition.
First, I checked out this place. It was easy to find. It’s advertised today on Freshly Pressed. **choke**
Funny thing, that.
I mean, I’ve been doing this longer than I can remember, and I’ve never been on Freshly Pressed. I’ve tried everything: pretending to be hip, making original needlepoint movies, funny animated cartoons, adding music, original artwork, humor, tons of galleries, even deep think essays.
Nada; not a peep, or a keyboard peck.
After two years of self-imposed servitude ** teeth gnashing ** to the evil WordPress empire overlords, who are probably laughing their asses off as I type this. I bet you those nerds spit on my blog every night before going to bed, after hissing “sucker!”.
Anyway, back to this Natalie person. Not only is her post Freshly Pressed but she has 71 comments.
Let me repeat this.
Plus 154 Likes.
In two years, I have had, like, one Like.
No wait, I think it was two.
I thought, maybe the popularity of Natalie’s blog is because she’s 20 or something, and pretty.
Maybe all her comments are from sex-crazed trolls.
It can’t really be because the people who read her blog are edgy, young, and don’t suffer from typephobia.
It can’t be because she’s better than I.
So I decided to check out another blog that’s not written by a 20 year-old woman whom I bet is very nice in person but doesn’t ever have to worry about deteriorating eyesight, varicose veins or looming stitch arthritis.
I went here.
Now this was more like it: a blog by some dude who likes to write about depressing subjects.
Probably 0 comments.
Probably zilch Likes.
Probably…. wait.. wait… oh no…. it can’t be.
Over 1000 Followers!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAArrrrrrgh!!!!!
And his About page, alone, has 78 comments.
Typephobia or no typephobia, I’m not putting up with this anymore.
I’ve just disabled the comments section, as well as the Likes and Sharing buttons.
And I’m not adding any cutesy poo-poo needlepoint pics.
Just in case, I’ll un-disable the comments.
Now I really hate myself. ** sigh **
Erin McGrath and Needlepointland.com, 2012 – 2016