Another year will soon have whizzed by.
So…. I guess it must be time to list the top 10 things I must/not do in 2013.
1. I will not obsessively check the number of visitors on my blog every chance I get.
2. I will not send hate mail to WordPress bemoaning the lack of unique visitor statistics for my blog. It doesn’t help to know that, ummm, 2 people visit every day, but not know if they are always the same ones!
3. I will not send hate mail to WordPress for not letting me put ads on my blog or doing any e-commerce. (At least those are supposed to be the rules…. which are ignored by those whom I shall not name!)
4. I will not hate WordPress for never putting me on the Featured Blog section, even though I have worked my ass off for nearly a year doing this crap, only to watch other bloggers (with pricier cameras or more interesting travel pics!) get all the glory.
5. I shall not seethe with envy when attractive 20-something year old women (whose avatar pic is usually them in low-cut jeans and a tight t-shirt) get like 500 comments to content-free posts that go: “oh gawd, I got so wasted last night.” And as long as we’re on the topic, I shall not resent it that visitors to Needlepoint Land rarely comment. (To those that do, thank you, I really appreciate it, even the one-worders!)
6. I shall not despise Google or Bing and be consumed with jealous rage when other needlepoint blog sites are listed waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead of mine (to see what I mean, type “needlepoint” in the Google search box, and select “blog” from the menu list above it), even when they haven’t posted anything new in like 5 years, and I’m lost somewhere in search engine swamp hell, wracking my fried brains for something new to say. Particularly galling is finding real blogs like this one buried under the sheer tonnage of sites that are not needlepoint blogs at all, or are primarily shill sites that push ebooks, classes, trunk shows, and other products. There is nothing wrong with these activities, and we all have to eat, but it would be nice if there were some way for Google users, for instance, to get to personal blogs, without having to deal with all the commercials. While we are on the subject, I find it helps to use Tor to clear the decks from the adsense weirdness and location-driven listings that I am usually NOT interested in, and which clog up the pipes for everyone. Tor and its associated search engine dumps all this stuff in the trash can where it belongs. If I want geo listings (such as where is the nearest needlepoint store to some location), I can ask for it; instead of having all this sort of stuff forced down my throat, based on what Google thinks is my IP. Plus I really take exception to the creepy way the Google (as David Letterman might say) likes to remember where I go (unless I remember to use Tor), and pops up ads for things I’ve looked at in the past, like some demented needlepoint store clerk who follows me into Publix and offers me a special price on some canvas I was looking at earlier, as I’m trying to find out if the Bryer’s on sale yet. None of their beeswax, is what I say. Tor treats this stuff like squashed love bugs on your windshield, as you’re driving past Orlando in May. As it should be.
7. I promise to never again go mega green when other needlepoint blogs have like 5 million visitors a week, because they can afford to pay for keyword placement on Google, and I’m sitting here with my needle up my canvas, reading up on wonky so-called “organic” SEO strategy (which I think of as the manure school of search engine ranking optimization), which 9 times out of 10 will call for using the word needlepoint in every other sentence, preferably every other word, and, most importantly, to beg, cajole or bribe other bloggers to link up. Also, I will stop trying to figure out why Google is so coy about pay-to-play, when it comes to being listed “above the fold.” It’s as if they are ashamed at how they make a living, or are trying to hustle you like you’re some born yesterday hick. I would certainly much prefer it if needlepoint fans had some way of knowing how they were being, er, corralled, for money, every time they thought they were getting an honest-to-goodness, unskewed search result.
8. I shall always try to remember, whether it comes to this blog, or most things in life, for that matter, that no one owes me anything. Then again, that be a two-way street.
9. I shall resist the cold comforts of Schadenfreude.
10. And lastly, I shall always try to have fun on my blog. That is, after all, why most of us do needlepoint. Speaking of fun, hope you had some, reading this tart but tongue-in-cheek list of wicked, wicked resolutions!
© Erin McGrath and Needlepointland.com, 2012 – 2016.